I know it feels bad right now, and if I could come and get you and take you home, I would. I would drive us to that mythical homestead where we are always welcome and always heard and always safe. Where the streets are lined with autumnal maples all year long. Where a ball bouncing into the street is just as innocent and perfect as you can imagine.
There are hills for climbing and woods for strolling and a bright warm corner store where they know our name we know theirs and they make amazing breakfast sandwiches, Mexican sweet bread and strong, hot coffee for us to fill the cups we brought from home.
If I could I would walk with you hand in hand and arm in arm and hip to hip down the broad, beautiful street that smells like fireplace, and we would wave to all the people who see us and love us and I would keep us safe there forever.
And maybe sometimes we would turn to each other and we would ask… “did we always live in this beautiful place?” And we’ll say yes. Somehow yes, we always have.
It may not seem like it from here, but in certain ways, we really have. In the ways that my love for you and your love for me is my true home. The place where we see each other and hear each other and keep each other as safe as we can. That place has always been here. And it will always be here.
When we’re far away from each other, and feeling defeated and alone, the place where I love you is always close at hand. It’s as close as your own heart, as real as your own breath.
It won’t always be like this, you know. It won’t always feel like this. Someday soon, sooner than you think, we will be walking hand in hand, arm in arm, hip to hip and we will ask each other “did we always live in such a beautiful place?” And the answer will be yes.
I love you. Take care of yourself until I can be there again.
Note: I’ve decided to start writing love letters. They’re not directed at anyone in particular, they’re not romantic in nature, they’re just me telling the universe, my community, and myself how much I truly love you all.